Possession
by Pandora-chan
Summary: ***COMPLETE*** Yue's past leads him to discover who and what he really is. FINALLY TxY!!!
1. Default Chapter

POSSESSION  
  
A first CCS fanfic for me, so if I blow it and it sucks, gomen. Also, I have only seen the US dub so far, so all else I acquired off the net. I "dislike" Nelvana, to be civil about it. And being a songfic, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you listen to this song, if you haven't already heard it. It is one of the most beautiful of Sarah McLachlan's. . DISCLAIMER: no own, otherwise I'd make it too... unsuitable for children. pouts unhappily. It all belongs to *Clamp* YOSH'!. Ayame and Benjamin, however, are mine completely :P  
  
RATING: R  
  
CONTENT: angst, musing, shounen ai, a little citrus, fluff, and more angst.  
  
PAIRINGS: T+Y, S+S, Y+T, brief E+T, K+C, Y+C, and finally, Y+B (original character), B+A (O/C) ... a little confusing, ne? Make a game of figuring it out at the end! Good luck. I'm confused already!  
  
DEDICATION: To Chi only, as she helped me with this fic, bullied me into finishing it and threatened me until I let he read it. Also cos she's feeling crap and I wanna cheer her up (if it's possible with this story.) (YOU'LL GET THE SEQUEL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!!)  
  
****  
Listen as the wind blows  
From across the great divide.  
  
Voices trapped and yearning,  
  
Memories trapped in time.  
  
The night is my companion,  
  
And solitude my guide.  
  
Would I spend forever here  
  
And not be satisfied?  
  
****  
  
Tomoeda, Japan, present  
  
****  
  
The moon is full, and I can see him in it. Yukito. The rabbit in the moon. For that's what he is, isn't he? A human disguise, a false form I merely use for my convenience, who lies dormant inside me until his presence is needed. Right?  
  
Wrong. It isn't true and I know it. I can convince myself as much as I wish that this is the case, but I know it isn't. Unfortunately, however, he believes it. He believes that up until he met Kinomoto Touya, all his memories are a lie. True, they are false, but that doesn't mean he is. The only reason for me to do this is to protect him from the truth that I know will hurt him, and only make his life more difficult to live with.  
  
The truth is I am the false form. I was created from him, several lifetimes ago now. It's only through my power he hasn't grown any older from the day he... from the day I became a Guardian. Damn, I have to keep reminding myself... I AM Yukito. Of course, it wasn't Clow's wish to change my appearance, it was mine own. I thought perhaps a change of self-image would help me forget the past, and at least make me look the part.  
  
And I do look the part now... so much so that Sakura, my own Mistress, is still a little nervous around me. But she is young. For a long time I watched her through Yukito's eyes, and despite my love and loyalty towards Clow, I found myself warming to her. It was only when I truly met her as Yue, face to face, that I understood why.  
  
Oh, her expression, it still hurts. She was... frightened, afraid for what had happened to the Yukito she knew and loved. That same expression, all those years ago... I miss her... but that is a face I will neither see nor care to see again. Which is why I cannot let Yukito know the truth. Should he know that I am the false form, he will want to know his true memories. And I can't remind him of her... but I can't show him his memories without her.  
  
Which is why he can never know...  
  
****  
  
Osaka, Japan, 1883  
****  
  
Two children huddled in a corner in the shadowy hallway, communicating without words, through their own special language. Being twins, their connection was strong, and they understood each other completely. There was nothing but silence in the entire building. They just hoped they wouldn't change that.  
  
Holding hands, warm amber eyes met deep blue ones, and after a mutual nod, bare feet silently scampered down the hall to the staircase. Treading carefully, hands still clasped tight, the girl mimicked her twin's footsteps as they ascended the stair, avoiding every creak they knew of. The only audible sound was hushed breathing and the rustle of clothes.  
  
But once they hit the bottom level, the floor was no longer carpeted, and they had to be quieter than before. Long moments passed as their feet made scampering noises on the wood, their restrained breathing making every moment twice as long. But finally they reached the front door, and making as little noise as possible, unbolted both the locks, turned the handle, and slipped outside.  
  
It had been snowing. It was Christmas morning, and the full moon shone brightly down upon the girl as she stared back, smiling, while her brother closed the door behind them, slipping on his shoes.  
  
"Ikisho, Ame-chan. Before they find us out," he said in a hushed voice.  
  
She smiled at him, then pointed at the moon. "Look, nii-san! I can see you in the sky tonight!" He smiled back, then handed her her shoes. Once she was ready, he took her hand, and she clung possessively to his arm as he led her out into the fresh snow.  
  
The moon lit their way, illuminating their soft golden grey hair and their fresh footprints, watching them as they left the Orphanage behind.  
  
****  
  
Sighing, I open my eyes again, not wanting to remember, not wanting to go back down that road. I remember it as clear as if it were only yesterday... and that is why it hurts so much. Another reason I cannot let Yukito know his past, for I would hate to be the one to cause heartache. I know how much they love each other, and I want him to be happy, but... it hurts. In the most emotionally damaging way of all. Which is why I keep the pain to myself, so that they can continue to prove their love.  
  
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?  
  
If only I could forget about it too...  
  
****  
  
It was night time, eight days later, and they had barely entered the town when the smell of food hit them and Yukito's stomach growled in response. Giggling, his twin sister poked him in the arm, teasingly. "Baka no Yukito!"  
  
"I can't help it!" he whined. "I ate almost a day ago!"  
  
She just giggled some more. "Sometimes I think I not need to eat, you eat so much for both of us!"  
  
"Then you should be hungry too, ne?"  
  
Her stomach growled, and she went pink. It was his turn to laugh. Still clutching hands, they walked towards the restaurant, hoping that the owners would be kind enough to give them some scraps.  
  
Moments later, they were sitting on the steps, pouting, a "CLOSED" sign hung above their heads. "I should have known..." Yukito sighed, toeing the snow.  
  
"B-but if it c-closed, where did the sm-smell come from?" Ayame asked, shivering. He held her close, protectively, and rubbed her arms.  
  
"Right now we need to find shelter. Food comes later."  
  
She laughed again, weakly. "There's a first, nii-san!"  
  
He looked a little embarrassed, and looked down, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the snowy street. "TO SHELTER!" she proclaimed loudly, pointing ahead with her other hand. But before he could decide whether to roll on the ground laughing or quieten her, she dragged him deeper into the town centre, noticing the only light came from a small, dingy pub.  
  
****  
  
But looking back on it now, he knew he should have quietened her. Because that was where it had all started...  
  
****  
  
They ran, hand in hand, as fast as two seven year olds could. Snow was lightly falling around them, but it could only slow them down and as the icy ground thickened. They couldn't figure out how they had gotten into this, all they knew is that they had to get out of it. They had long ago lost their shoes, and their feet were numb. Ayame was sobbing breathlessly, unable to run fast enough as tears streamed down her cheeks.  
  
"Hayaku!" Yuki cried, desperate.  
  
"Demo... I'm so t-tired," she stammered, faltering in her pace. He turned and looked at her, tugging at her hand to get her to come. "Yuki... onegai... so cold... so tired..." she continued between breaths.  
  
The sound of drunken laughter sounded a little way behind them. The state the men in may have given the twins an advantage, but they would have to keep moving.  
  
"Come on Ame-chan, I scared too, but we have to keep running!"  
  
She looked at him tearfully, then swallowed and nodded, putting on her best brave face and fighting the tears. "H-hai!"  
  
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, smiled softly, then the two began running again, faster, trying to make up for the lost time. They ran for what seemed an eternity, and the men did not give up. They needed somewhere to hide, and fast. It was their last hope.  
  
Glancing to his left, Yukito saw a narrow alleyway, and headed straight for it, dragging his sister with him. But before he could find somewhere to hide, his foot lodged in a hidden drain under the snow, twisting his ankle viciously. He couldn't suppress a yelp of pain, and silently cursed himself for giving them both away.  
  
Ayame stared back at him, tears streaming down her face as she gasped. "Yuki! Doushitano!?"  
  
"My ankle..." he choked, biting his lip to hold back the tears. She began to kneel down next to him but he shook his head. "IYA!" he hissed. "GO! NOW!"  
  
"No... I won't-"  
  
"Ame!" he pleaded, hearing the men make their way towards them. "Onegai, go. Don't worry about me. Just be safe, I promised kaa-san that much! Go!" She shook her head, tears flying. "Go! Now!"  
  
She shook, staring at him, distraught. "Yuki..."  
  
"GO!" he cried, not caring if the men heard him. They were close enough now, anyway. She stared back at him, sadly, but seeing the desperate plea in his eyes, nodded and stood up. "I'll find you again, yakusoku," he whispered.  
  
Her lip quivered, and she gave him one last look of fear and sorrow, then turned and was gone. Relief washed over him. He knew she would be safe, even if he wouldn't be.  
  
****  
  
An hour later he lay in the snow, numb with pain and cold. Bruised, bleeding, sore and torn in places he didn't even know could be so sore. Tears had long since stopped flowing, and had frozen to his face. Blood still pulsed from some places, and one eye throbbed, swollen shut. He was a broken shell. Unable to move the slightest muscle, he could barely breathe.  
  
Everything that happened was a blur. He didn't understand any of it. He was only seven. Surely this wasn't real. Surely this wasn't supposed to happen. He was too young. Oh, why was there so much pain? Why was it so quiet? Why was it so much darker than before? It didn't make any sense to him. Confusion, anger, and sorrow...  
  
Ayame... that face, that last image he saw of her. Where was she now? He hoped she was safe, wherever she was. A lump formed in his throat, but no tears came. He couldn't cry anymore. He stared at the sky, at the strangely shaped moon. It was a crescent moon, but it was upside down.  
  
It looked like devil horns.  
  
He watched it until everything was black.  
  
****  
  
Yue stared at the full moon, allowing a single icy tear trickle down his pale face. No. No he really never could, never would allow Yukito to know the truth. Not if he could help it. But no, the hurt didn't end there, did it? Yue sighed. There was so much pain... why bother remembering it all? Because baka. You don't want to push these memories so far back that you lose them, that you allow them to find their way into Yukito's mind. Closing his eyes, he let his memories continue to come... So where to next, then? Of course... Benjamin... Junior High... and Ayame, her return. Yes, he had found her again - or more, she found him. But only to be separated once more. Only to be hurt once more...  
  
.  
  
REVIEW!! PLEASE!!!!! 


	2. Part 2

DISCLAIMER: again, I don't own it for PC reasons (and lack of money). But I own Ayame, and Benjamin. in a way.  
  
RATING: R  
  
CONTENT: angst, musing, shounen ai, a little citrus, fluff, and more angst.  
  
PAIRINGS: at the moment? Y+B, hints of A+B.?  
  
Fantasiimaker: Thanks so much! I am flattered beyond belief. unfortunately there will be a bit of angst for Yuki, but hopefully you'll enjoy it!  
  
NEMESISMUSE: Thanks for the review!  
  
Part 2  
  
And I would be the one to hold you down,  
  
Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away.  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Just close your eyes, dear.  
  
Kyoto, Japan, 1890  
  
Benjamin [1] gave his knife another flick, gauging another chunk off the stick of wood. His long auburn bangs complimented his slightly dark complexion as he leaned forward, framing his face without blocking his vision. He had been listening intently to his friend's story despite humming a song quietly to himself. It sounded foreign to Yukito, yet comforting.  
  
"A twin sister, huh?" he murmured, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Yukito nodded, noticing Ben seemed to be struggling to hold back a grin. For what reason, Yukito had no idea.  
  
"Ben, I'm not kidding."  
  
"I don't doubt you at all, Yuki," came the reply. "It's just... why haven't you tried looking for her?"  
  
"I have no idea where to start. It's not that I don't want to find her... I miss her so much."  
  
Ben smiled at that, and leaned over to pat his friend on the shoulder before returning to shape the stick. Yukito noticed it was taking the rough shape of a person.  
  
"That is so clever! I wish I was that talented," he exclaimed.  
  
"Arigatou," Ben said, pausing. "So... this sister of yours. What does she look like?"  
  
"Me, baka."  
  
Ben rolled his eyes, giving the other boy a sarcastic look. "So she's attractive. But you know that's not what I meant." [2]  
  
Yukito grinned, and gave in. "Fine, then. She has deep blue-violet eyes, which she inherited from kaa-san. Her hair... it was always in pigtails, with two little beads and a ribbon each side. And female, obviously."  
  
"I see," Ben replied, concentrating on his carving as he listened. "So does 'she' have a name, then?"  
  
"Ayame."  
  
Benjamin smiled upon hearing the name, as if it reminded him of some happy memory. "I wish I could meet her," he whispered, looking at Yukito.  
  
The silver haired boy felt himself weaken at that look. He had suddenly discovered a few months ago, a small growing attraction towards his best friend. At first it had been awkward, but now after accepting it, all Yukito felt was a strong desire to pull the other boy forward and kiss him senseless. But did Ben feel the same?  
  
Even if he didn't, Yukito was glad for the friendship. Despite having only started at this school a half year before, Ben had for some reason gone straight to Yuki for a companion. He said he was on an exchange for a few years, that he was from Ireland. He quite often sang, or talked to himself in his own language, which Yukito found fascinating, and now even knew how to write his own name in English. But he was far from being able to understand anything Ben said.  
  
Yukito suddenly went pink, realising he had been staring, and his friend was giving him an oddly amused look. Oops... he thought. I'll have to stop doing that!  
  
Both boys were silent for a long time, listening to the sound of Ben's carving. Yukito was watching the sun slowly sink on the horizon when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He turned to meet a pair of deep jade eyes and a smiling mouth.  
  
"Here," Ben said, handing him the carving.  
  
Yukito looked down. It was made into the shape of a young woman, wearing a short kimono, with shoulder length hair in pigtails and a wild fringe. Her face was minimally done, but Yukito could make out a small nose, wide eyes, and laughing lips.  
  
"Well? What do you think? It's guessing, from what you told me and from what I think she'd look like now. You like?"  
  
Yukito met his eyes again, astonished. "It- it could so easily BE her! The expression and everything! I don't get it... how could you possibly guess so well?"  
  
Ben smiled. "Easy. She's you."  
  
****  
  
And somehow, it wasn't a month later when she was with us, with me, again.  
  
****  
  
The three of them sat together on the school's concrete wall, looking at the road, talking and laughing. Yukito was so happy, more happier than he'd ever been in his life, unaware it was all about to crumble around him. He had his sister, he had his best friend... he was content. And Ayame got along with Ben so well. Everything was so perfect.  
  
Ayame was looking at the small wooden figure with amazement, turning it in her hand, studying each detail. "It's... so much like me! You're such a good artist, Ben," she said, smiling, and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
A sudden surge of jealousy passed through Yukito, but he let it slide. There was no point, was there? Ben wasn't his... as much as he wanted him to be. Anyway, it was just a kiss on the cheek. It didn't necessarily mean anything, right?  
  
He continued to stare at the ground when he felt someone embrace him, and then looked to see his sister furrowing her brow with worry. "You okay?"  
  
"Aa."  
  
She smiled softly, despite the worry that remained in her eyes. But she stayed silent, moving back to her previous position, not before giving him one last look, though. It was as if she was trying to figure something out. He knew she could read his mind at times... he just prayed she was a little rusty. Otherwise what would she think if she knew?  
  
But he had the feeling she had already figured it out, for which he was both nervous and grateful. At least it made less of a chance she'd like him too.  
  
"I should be getting home, now," Ben finally spoke, jumping down. "Else my foster parents will panic. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"  
  
Yukito nodded and smiled, while his sister waved cheerfully and cried, "Sayonara, Ben-chan!"  
  
Even in the fading light, Yukito could have sworn he blushed at that. But he chose to ignore it, instead turning to his sister as Ben walked off. "Ben-chan?"  
  
She giggled. "Why not? You call him that!"  
  
It was Yukito's turn to blush. She giggled harder and prodded him. "Baka na," she said, also jumping down, and motioning for him to do the same. He smiled, obediently dropping to the ground next to her. She took his hand, just like always, and kissed his cheek. See? he thought to himself. Means nothing like that.  
  
He looked down as she pressed the little wooden image of herself into his hand, and then hugged him. "See?" she whispered in his ear. "I was with you all along, and now you can never lose me."  
  
****  
  
That night Yukito lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. This time of night always made him uneasy, but the full moon was comforting nonetheless. He could hear his sister's soft breathing in the room next door, and he smiled. It was good to have her back.  
  
But that wasn't why he was awake. Her breathing never prevented him from sleeping before. Tonight, he just couldn't sleep. Because he'd made a decision. A vital decision that caused his stomach to tie itself into millions of knots with nervousness.  
  
No, he wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Because tomorrow, regardless of the consequences, he was going to tell Benjamin how he felt.  
  
Regardless...  
  
.  
  
TBC  
  
[1] Okay, before you point it out, yes, I am aware this is not a Japanese name, and for all I know, the Irish didn't even send their children to Japan on exchange in these days. I doubt it. But anyway, I WAS gonna make Ben Japanese, but I decided to base him on someone I know. So, yeah.  
  
[2] Flattery. NOT flirtation. Kapesh?  
  
Now, I won't be updating until I get at least 10 reviews. or unless I get some serious begging. snickers evilly  
  
REVIEW!! It isn't so hard. Even flames count! (Never gotten one. but they wont phase me. I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU FLAMERS TRY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!) 


	3. Part 3

DISCLAIMER: dammit, stop making fun of me. IMAGINE instead, what CCS would be like if I owned it *o-hohohohohoo.* [NB: will never stop owning Ayame. And Ben, well he still doesn't know I own him.]  
  
RATING: PG-13 actually.  
  
CONTENT: same again, really  
  
PAIRINGS: Y+B, A+B  
  
Chielle Asaki: DAMN YOU GIRL!! WHAT DID I SAY??? I TOLD you not to mention that! But yes, I am changing it - SO THERE! *pokes out tongue*  
  
Dark Ice Angel: I've said it more than once, I'll say it again - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!  
  
Fantasiimaker: LOOK! Am UPDATING! And have less that 10 reviews *pouts* but I'm not REALLY that mean. ENJOY!  
  
PART 3  
  
I stare at the sky, probably for the thousandth time tonight... or maybe I just never strayed my gaze from the heavens at all. The moon is obscured by a cloud. Obscured from seeing clearly... like myself back then. My love for my sister, my feelings for Ben... obscured my sight, until I was blind to the reality of it all.  
  
Blind to the truth. Looking back now, I cannot understand how I didn't see it coming. But when we are young, we are blind. We may be shown tiny signs, or even the blatantly obvious... but we do not acknowledge them because we don't want to believe them. Which is exactly what happened...  
  
****  
  
Butterflies were dying by the hundreds in his stomach, and Yukito was close to backing out of it. Maybe he should have talked to his sister first, gotten her opinion? Girls were supposed to be better at this than boys.  
  
But it was too late. Ben was already walking towards him. Yukito paled, grateful he was already sitting. Am I really going to do this? Can I really handle the consequences?? No time to decide. Ben was now sitting next to him, smiling.  
  
"Ossu! You wanted to talk?"  
  
Swallowing nervously, Yukito prayed his stomach would settle, or else he might throw up. "A-ano... ore... uh..." He looked away from his friend, it made it easier not to feel the attraction. There was a long silence. Leaves blew past their feet on the pavement.  
  
It was too quiet.  
  
Ben raised an eyebrow, amused. "Are you okay?"  
  
Yukito nodded hesitantly, blushing by now. He couldn't do this, could he? Dammit, why couldn't Ben just guess? Then voice his opinion? Why should he have to say anything at all? Why the hell was it that he was doing this before he had at least SOME form of proof that the feelings were returned.  
  
The fear of rejection was overwhelming. Yuki was surprised Ben couldn't sense it, couldn't figure the whole thing out. But then, maybe he could.  
  
"Yuki...?" came Ben's voice again, slightly worried.  
  
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!!! Can't I just change it now? I could ask him to play his violin! The perfect cover story! Or not. DAMMIT THINK OF A WAY OUT OF THIS!!  
  
No. I have to do this... I promised I would. Come on, Yuki, are you just going to let yourself live without ever knowing if he feels the same? Even if he doesn't, life goes on... he accepts you for who you are, why wouldn't he accept you for this, regardless of his own feelings?? Taking a deep breath, he pushed back his nerves, and blurted it out.  
  
"W-Will you play your violin for me?"  
  
DAMMIT!!!!!  
  
Mentally kicking himself, Yukito looked up to see his friend was laughing at him. His heart fell slightly, but he covered it with a warm smile [1].  
  
"Yuki! Why was that so hard to get out? Come on! Of course I will!" Ben grinned and shook his head. "You had me worried there for a second. I thought something was really wrong!"  
  
Yuki just smiled again, more weakly this time, and looked away.  
  
"What one do you want me to play?"  
  
"The Irish one," Yuki improvised. It was the only one he really remembered, anyway. Ben seemed to know it best.  
  
His friend paused, then gave Yuki an odd look. "Wh-why that one?"  
  
Because you put so much feeling, so much heart into it. "Because it's comforting."  
  
"Hn. That's what Ame said." Ben murmured.  
  
Yuki narrowed his eyes. "We're that alike? Odd that we have the same tastes, our upbringings were hardly the same."  
  
Ben laughed at that. "I'll go get my violin. Be right back."  
  
Tell him tell him tell him.  
  
Ben walked away towards the building.  
  
Stop him stop him stop him.!  
  
"Ben!"  
  
The Irish boy turned and looked back. "What is it?"  
  
"I lied."  
  
Ben looked at his friend, confused. "What??" he asked, shocked. "Demo- Yuki, you NEVER lie! What's going on??"  
  
"I. I can-"  
  
"Yuki?!"  
  
"Ben." the silver-haired boy stood and walked over to Ben, shakily. Hesitantly. I have to do this, I HAVE to! I CAN'T LIE!! I CAN'T HIDE ANYMORE!!!  
  
. but saying it.  
  
"Ben, I."  
  
"Yuki."  
  
The air was thick with the tension. Yuki could barely breathe.  
  
Ben. I  
  
"Ben, I-"  
  
. I love you.  
  
"I-"  
  
. love you.?  
  
"I, uh."  
  
. KUSO!  
  
Yuki gave up on words.  
  
. and kissed Ben  
  
****  
  
HAR HAR HAR-DEY HAR HAR  
  
That was random. But it's a cliff-hanger, right? My first attempt! BE NICE!!! And I accept the fact that Ben changed his tone quickly but hey.  
  
[1] Yukito learns to do that well, don't ya think?  
  
*sways pendant* "Repeat after me. 'I shall reviewwww.'" (Is it working? Won't be updated until I have at LEAST 10 - AND THIS TIME I STICK BY IT!!!) 


	4. Part 4

DISCLAIMER: No, don't own CCS. Yes, own Ayame and Ben (who is currently chained to a wall and snarling at me. hee hee - "Down boy!")  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
CONTENT: realised there probably wont be any citrus in here at all.  
  
PAIRINGS: Hinted Y+C  
  
**  
  
TamChronin:- *glomps* thank you so much!!!! This is what you've been waiting for!! Am glad that I can create such suspense. *sparkles*  
  
Fantasiimaker:- I don't understand these people either, but hey, I have 10 reviews! Am happy enough so far!!  
  
As for the rest of you.. *snarls*  
  
PART 4  
  
He kissed Ben.  
  
He noticed that after a few seconds, his friend was shaking, and he drew back, red with embarrassment. "Oh... ano... sumimasen!"  
  
Ben was shocked and obviously confused. He took several shaky steps back, pausing briefly to whisper "Yuki...?!" before turning and running away. [1]  
  
Yukito watched, his eyes burning with tears. // Nothing ever happens the way you imagine...// he thought, letting the hurt tear through him. Though he didn't really blame his friend for reacting like that. He never should have kissed him in the first place. He only made things worse. Biting his lip to force back the tears, he followed his friend, desperate to at least explain, even if this was the end of their friendship. But at that moment, given the chance, he would make sure they were friends forever.  
  
Moments later, he would rather have died than been his friend again. Because just a stones throw away, his best friend stood in a tight embrace with his twin sister. He watched, anger, betrayal and jealousy burning through his veins as his sister kissed Ben's hair, then his lips, before holding him close. Yukito didn't know if he could possibly move, his anger was so great, but the moment Ayame met his gaze he couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
He turned and ran, without any intention of returning.  
  
.  
  
TBC  
  
[1] Not forgetting the age of these kids, I reckon that's how he'd react.  
  
GOMEN! Short chapter. but this HAD to be a chapter by itself. More effective. Poor Yuki! NONETHELESS, the truth of all this will be revealed in the sequel. Unless my brilliant, faithful readers haven't guessed the truth already. GUESS!!! I wanna see how easy it is to figure out!! Will draw picture prize for winner!! (you have until I update next)  
  
WONT UPDATE UNTIL HAVE AT LEAST 15 REVIEWS!!!  
  
And if you haven't figured it out, take a guess at who appears in the next chapter! 


	5. Part 5

DISCLAIMER: I own Ayame. And Ben (he's currently sedated, *snickers*). But no, not CCS.  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
CONTENT: At the moment, a bit of blah. And irritation from certain characters.  
  
PAIRINGS: Hinted Y+C (heh, oops. I wrote that for the last chapter didn't I? *hits head*)  
  
***  
  
Before I continue with thanking those faithful reviewers of mine. I have to apologise to all those un-registered readers who couldn't review due to my ignorance. Therefore I offer you all lumps of cookie dough disguised as cherry-blossom mochi. (Don't ask)  
  
TamChronin: *looks guilty* heh. yeah, well, I AM updating real soon, see? And I couldn't just NOT leave it there. It was part of the whole fun-ness. But I apologise. Profusely. Do you like Duo cookies? I offer you a Duo cookie. They make things better. (And are very tasty with whipped cream and strawberries) *waves cookie in front of TamChronin's nose*  
  
Rihky: Once again, duly noted. Thanks for the heads up! *waves Duo cookie in front of nose, then chucks it in the air* CATCH!!!  
  
Where are the rest of my reviews, people??? I DID send you an email this time!!  
  
***  
  
PART 5  
  
***  
  
Through this world I've stumbled,  
  
So many times betrayed,  
  
Trying to find an honest word to find  
  
The truth enslaved.  
  
Oh, you speak to me in riddles  
  
And you speak to me in rhymes,  
  
My body aches to breathe your breath,  
  
Your words keep me alive...  
  
***  
  
Closing his eyes, Yukito leaned over the edge of the ship a little further, letting the sea spray hit his face, listening to the waves crash against the edge of the boat. He was free... escaping. He had been on this boat for just over a month, but didn't care. He had eventually gotten used to the motions of the boat, and no longer got seasick.  
  
Feeling a warm hand on his shoulder, he smiled, knowing who it was. Since he had fled Kyoto, he had managed to stowaway to China. Only intending to get that far, he had been taken in by a tall, respected man from England. A man who had seen something inside Yukito to feel he was worthy enough to bring back to his home, half a world away. And though the man obviously knew something was wrong inside the young boy, but thankfully demanded no explanation.  
  
Yukito was eternally grateful. He needed no therapy now... just affection.  
  
"Are you coming back inside soon, Yukito? They are about to serve supper."  
  
Turning to look at the kindly faced man with the long dark locks, Yukito smiled and nodded. "Aa, I'll be right in. Arigatou, Clow-sama."  
  
London, England, 1891  
  
The soft spring breeze sifted through the branches of the huge tree Yukito leaned against. The book he had been reading had fallen to the grass, forgotten. Half asleep, his daydreams lead him back to his previous life. The life before England.  
  
He found himself back in Kyoto, Ayame nowhere to be seen, as though she didn't exist. And Yukito lay in Ben's arms, happy, content. He could feel the boy's lips against his, and smiled into the kiss. // Aishiteru... //  
  
"Nani?" came a lively voice from above, followed by the rustling of leaves and blossoms. "Who does Tsukishiro-kun love, then?"  
  
Groaning at the annoying voice, Yukito opened his eyes to a familiar sight. Hanging by her knees from a tree branch was a girl around his age, with long brown hair, teasing golden eyes a mocking expression. She gave a high pitched giggle.  
  
"Go away, Akizuki." [1]  
  
She pouted, then gracefully jumped down and placed her hands on her hips, sticking out what little chest she had. "Awww... you're no fun." Suddenly she grinned, and wagged her finger at him. "Tsk tsk, Moon-boy. You're forgetting something. I can read minds..."  
  
"I don't really care."  
  
"Whatever. But lunch is ready, and I will not keep Clow-sama waiting. Don't sleep all day, Moon-boy."  
  
Yukito rolled his eyes as she pranced towards the mansion, her hair flying wildly behind her. He knew she'd never stop bugging him. Ever since he arrived in England and met her, Akizuki Naruku had done nothing but take pleasure in annoying him. She never even tried to be nice. After several attempts on his side, he'd given up. Much to Clow's dislike. And she was the only one he couldn't get along with.  
  
Something fell on his face, and he gently picked it up and studied it. A small pink sakura blossom from the tree. //This means I can make a wish, right? But what to wish for.// He considered Ben, but doubted even magick could make that happen. He considered a chance to be closer to Clow, but something told him that magick was not the way to approach a mage. //What is it I really want?//  
  
He knew, deep down, what the answer to that question was. It was simple, and should it come true he wondered how he'd find out, but nonetheless, he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him. Placing the blossom petal in the palm of his other hand, he made the wish.  
  
"I wish I could understand what happened back in Japan," he whispered, and blew the petal off his hand and into the wind.  
  
Soft footsteps approached him from the behind, and he turned to see a tall, graceful woman with red hair and a gentle smile.  
  
"Be careful what you wish for, Yukito... for you never receive your expectations."  
  
Sighing, the boy nodded, looking at the ground. "I know, Kaho-san." [2]  
  
She knelt next to him, tilting her head to one side. "You're lucky that we have a cold lunch today, but Naruku was right. You don't want to keep Clow waiting."  
  
Nodding again, Yukito picked up the book and stood, walking next to her as they headed for the mansion, but not noticing the pale brown eyes next to him as they watched a small blossom petal float into the air, and glow a pale blue before vanishing into the sky.  
  
***  
  
Clow Reed had once told Yukito how the two females came to live with him. When he was 21, he had been studying in Japan, therefore not far from his family in China, but far enough away to learn other types of magick. There he had met a young woman on the streets who was helping orphans escape from abuse and the streets. She would ship them off as stowaways on ships or carriages to other places, safer places. Every fortnight she would be at the docks. Clow met her there one night after being pickpocketed by a stealthy young girl, and following her. This girl was Akizuki Naruku, and Clow immediately sensed a small power in her that could be developed.  
  
Kaho, however, had no power. Clow just fell immediately in love with her. After a brief visit to his family, he returned to Japan and insisted on taking Kaho back to his inherited home in England, and agreed to bring Naruku with him.  
  
His most recent visit had found him Yukito, and he had once told the boy that he had the feeling he was to return again one more time, for there was someone else he was destined to meet.  
  
****  
  
As it turns out, there was one more person to meet. But rather than go to Japan to find them, they came to England to find Clow. Of course, they had no idea where to go, and were living on the streets until Kaho found them.  
  
And so one day, in the middle of autumn, and ironically, right on time for the new moon, this certain someone was escorted back to Clow's mansion. And the day I saw her was the same morning a sakura blossom floated into my window. [3]  
  
.  
  
TBC  
  
Well? Good? Bad? Review me and tell me how much so. Won't be updating until I have at least. 17 reviews. I'M BEING NICE!  
  
As for those guesses of yours as to who appears, you obviously had a choice of about. 3 different character. Congratulations to those who got it right.  
  
[1] Hee hee, I couldn't resist putting her into it. She's so much fun!  
  
[2] DUN DUN DUNNN!! I don't actually like her, but hey.  
  
[3] Yeah, I know it's autumn, but it IS magic!  
  
PLEEEAAAAAAASE review! 


	6. Part 6

DISCLAIMER: I feel like a robot. NO, I do not own CCS. But you shall never take Ayame or Ben- DAMMIT!  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
CONTENT: angsty angsty angst, very OOC Yuki at some points, and more terrible attempts at Japanese.  
  
PAIRINGS: Hinted Y+C, mentioned C+K  
  
I apologise profusely for not updating for ages but my internet connection was being a bitch. It didn't like ff.net. but here it is!!! *CHEERS*  
  
****  
  
TamChronin: WHAAA!!!?? You no like Duo cookies??? *jaw drops* But they so sugary and. oh well. *grins and brandishes box of Yue cookies* You want some? TASTY tasty. LOTS of icing. *munches on reject Duo cookies with glee*  
  
n3th3r^v^l@nd: SETTLE!! Geez, I'm sorry. But I am not so good at writing long chapters just now. Promise that my next CCS fic will have long chapters though!  
  
Fantasiimaker: GOOD LUCK FOR EXAMS!! And don't worry, I understand. My friends are all exam-ing at the moment too.  
  
Chielle Asaki: You really think so?? WOW, I feel especially brilliant now! *glomps Chi* Do YOU like Duo cookies? *waves in front of her nose* Nah, I suppose you'd prefer. *hunts around in back of cupboard, and pulls out a dusty box* A HA!! How's THIS??? *brandishes unopened pack of Vegeta cookies* (Yeah, I really DO have everything in there!)  
  
***  
  
PART 5  
  
--ONE YEAR LATER--  
  
"AYAME?!"  
  
Yukito had been coming down the stairs in the late morning, a small blossom petal in his hand, when he had heard hushed voices in Clow's study. He had identified two at first, easily. The other, however, of the three, had caused his blood to run cold, and he'd dropped the petal to the floor before throwing open the door.  
  
The two adults looked at him, bewildered, but Ayame avoided his harsh gaze, tears in her eyes.  
  
"You FOLLOWED me here?? Doushite??[1] To ask for FORGIVENESS?"  
  
"Yuki, onegai-" she sputtered.  
  
"Urusei!" He growled. [2]  
  
Kaho cried out. "Yukito! Dame da!" [3]  
  
Crying harder, Ayame said something in a hushed voice to Clow, still looking away. The older man turned and began to walk to Yukito, signalling for him to calm down. He didn't.  
  
He rushed towards her, brushing past Clow without a word, but his path was blocked by Kaho. "IYA!" she cried. "LEAVE HER!"  
  
Anger of old seethed through his veins, and he growled again at her. His sister was shocked at this uncharacteristic new trait. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and her eyes were red. He ignored the guilt and worry gnawing at the back of his mind, and glared at her instead. But his glaring was interrupted by Clow's appearance in front of him.  
  
"Yukito..." he said, warning in his voice.  
  
Slowly the young boy's eyes met the sorcerer's, and all the anger vanished. "S-Sorry, Clow-sama," he murmured. The older man's expression softened, and he turned the boy and led him out of the room.  
  
"Come now. We shall talk later, yes? All will be explained in due time." With that, the man turned and closed the doors behind him, leaving Yukito alone with his again rising anger, and a small blossom petal at his feet.  
  
***  
  
// And I would be the one to hold you down,  
  
Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away.  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Just close your eyes, dear. //  
  
-- A month later --  
  
Yue stared out the window at the sakura tree in the garden. It was pouring with rain, and all the blossoms were being battered, crushed, thrown violently to the ground. The wind played havoc with the tree, raping the branches, and he cringed. She was out there, right now, probably on the streets as she so often was. Because of him. Because of what he had become. He couldn't deny he feared for her, but he didn't want to let himself admit to it, do anything about it. So he stayed where he was, watching, hoping deep down that she was safe. After all, she had only just left earlier that evening.  
  
****  
  
"Yuki...?!" came her voice, crushed, despairing. Betrayed, like he had been. But Yue looked back at her, following Clow's eyes to the doorway where she seemed to hold on for dear life, as if at any moment she would fall to her knees. He didn't doubt she would.  
  
Bowing his head, he turned away. It was too late. There was nothing she could do anymore. Nothing.  
  
And then, later that day, as he sat on the roof watching the incredible sunset on the clouds, he heard the door slam below, and a hooded figure run out onto the path, and pause to turn and look up at him briefly. Ayame. Anger and hurt crossed her features, the face so like okaa-san, and then she was gone, disappearing down the street into approaching darkness.  
  
****  
  
It had been that moment that it had begun. Refusing to allow the pain and regret in his heart overwhelm him, Yue had buried his emotions deep inside, into the body and mind of the person he would never again become.  
  
He heard the door shut again, and as he looked down, he saw a heavily cloaked figure with an umbrella and a lantern run out of the gate. He didn't need to see them to know who it was. Kaho. The woman who seemed to never stop caring for his sister. He had no idea why. But he smiled inwardly, nonetheless. At least with her gone, he could be reassured that his sister would be in safe hands. Despite her sense of direction, Kaho had the knack of being able to locate anyone she was looking for.  
  
Turning, he headed for his master's room. Tonight was a night for company. And there was only one company he wanted.  
  
****  
  
I don't see how I was so blind. Blinded by love, maybe? Yes, once again blinded by love. But then, it wasn't love, it was obsession, and a desperate attempt for comfort. It hurts to say, to admit to, but I can't deny I was oblivious to the romantic relationship between Kaho and Clow. I can't deny it still hurts.  
  
But is that really the point? No, the point is that night was the last time I ever saw my sister. Right now, she will have passed on. Maybe she went back to Japan, where she could live a life with Benjamin. I hope for her sake she did. Because, even though I hate to think it, if I ever met two people more meant for one another, it was them.  
  
I should have known.  
  
.  
  
TBC  
  
To prove my knowledge sux, the following translations I won't say MEAN that, but mean something LIKE that.  
  
[1] Why?  
  
[2] Shut up!  
  
[3] Cut it out!  
  
Sorry that was so short! And if my Japanese sux (which I KNOW it does) then I apologise for that too.  
  
My faithful readers. the next chapter will most likely be the last! But worry not. I promise there will be a sequel (hell, I planned on it from the beginning. how else would I explain half of this??) And even better? Next chapter, we head back to the present, and guess who shows up now! I challenge you to guess. (If you check the beginning PAIRINGS list, you'll figure it out)  
  
And one more thing. raise your hand if you wanna know more about Ben, and I may think about writing up Ayame's story. MAYBE. I'll need a lot of pressure though!  
  
REVIEW!!! See the shiny pretty button?? Click it for wonderful things!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A USER TO REVIEW EITHER!!! So NOW you don't have an excuse!! *pokes out tongue* Promise not to withhold chapters any longer! 


	7. Part 7

DISCLAIMER: For the last time, no I DON'T OWN CCS!! Or Ben, really. Get the feeling he'll track me down and kill me if he ever finds out about this story. But I do own Ayame. *nyaaa*  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
CONTENT: ooh, shounen ai. and a bit of fluff. And suspense.  
  
PAIRINGS: And finally. TxY! *cheers and throws confetti in the air while dancing around like an idiot with sparklers in each hand. heh heh*  
  
***  
  
To all my faithful (and less so) reviewers, thanks so much for all the praise and such. *GLOWS* Unfortunately, this is the end of the line for this story, but NEVER FEAR!!! I will start posting the sequel asap. PROMISE!!! So keep your eyes out for it, but I should email you when it's up.  
  
***  
  
PART 6  
  
// Into this night I wander  
  
It's morning that I dread  
  
Another day of knowing of  
  
The path I fear to tread  
  
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams  
  
I follow without pride  
  
Cos nothing stands between us here  
  
And I won't be denied. //  
  
It's a kind of possession, I realise that now. While his memories haunt me and who I am, I am not real, not really. I may have been him once, but now I am just a ghost of who he was, and what he used to feel. Memories and inner turmoil personified. And I still possess him, take over his body and make him act like he never would. Do things he'd never dream of doing. And afterwards? Well, he wouldn't know a thing that had happened.  
  
And yet I am him, though it doesn't seem it. I feel what he feels. Enjoy what he enjoys. Crave what he craves. Love what he loves.  
  
Yet I destroyed the one thing he cared most about all along.  
  
Days turned into weeks, into months, into years, and I never heard of Ayame again. Kaho vanished into the future, meaning that I was not rid of her, but that I must face her again. When I did, I discovered she was not only the previous love of Touya's life before myself, but she was with Eriol. I have many times wished to ask her what became of my sister, but I never have. Pride gets me every time.  
  
I remember my talk with Eriol. It was that brief discussion that proved to me that not only was Eriol not Clow, but I was never in love with Clow in the first place. I cannot deny my relief at this. But then, some part of me knew it all along.  
  
Besides, I now know what love is. I understand it. Because I am in love, and although he doesn't fully realise it, I would do anything for him. Which is why I have to-  
  
****  
  
The front door whined as it shut. Touya winced. //Damn. Gonna have to fix that in the morning... well, when the sun is up.// He looked around. Yuki had vanished from the bed, which could only mean one thing. Sure enough, there was Yue, sitting on the roof, ice-blue cat-eyes watching his every movement. Touya paused. There was something in his eyes... something intense that made him shiver. Trying to ignore this feeling, he motioned for Yue to come down, not trusting his voice.  
  
Moments later the angel stood before him, arms crossed, eyes fixing their cool gaze on Touya's deep blue ones. "We need to talk, Yue," Touya managed to get out. He got no response, but continued anyway. "I know that Yukito was created out of you, but I love him, and you can't stop me. I've already given up a lot to be with him, and in the process not only did I save his life, I saved yours."  
  
"You think then, that I have a debt to pay you?"  
  
"Hai," Touya breathed.  
  
"What is your request, then?"  
  
"Let Yuki have a normal life, if it's possible. A full life. With me. Please, Yue, a life for a life?"  
  
Yue looked away momentarily. "I don't know if I can."  
  
"Why not?? ONEGAI! Don't do this to me..."  
  
Sighing, Yue met his eyes once more. "Kinomoto Touya... it is not my decision to make."  
  
"Huh? What do you mean? Is it Sakura's??"  
  
Shaking his head, Yue lessened the space between them. "I'm sorry, Touya. But there's something I have to return."  
  
Before the boy could respond, the guardian leant forward and pressed his lips to Touya's, allowing the boy to react as he wished. Touya tensed up, shocked, but then suddenly realised just how similar it was to kissing Yukito. Ignoring the guilt and alarm bells in his head, he leaned into the kiss, deepening it, giving in to temptation. There seemed to be energy and passion flowing through the kiss, if it were possible. Opening his eyes slightly, Touya saw a soft blue glow around them, and suddenly feared Yue had turned back into Yukito without any warning. But before he could think any further, everything blurred and he sank limply into Yue's arms, deep in sleep.  
  
Lifting the taller boy effortlessly, Yue made his way back into the house, replacing his true self's lover in the bed before he himself climbed in, finally allowing the transition into Yukito to take place.  
  
. and all the time remained unaware of the pair of deep blue eyes that watched them from afar.  
  
~OWARI~  
  
*O-hohohohooo*  
  
So did you like? Questions? Comments? ME WANTS!!  
  
Thank you very much, all. Once again, I promise I'll alert you when the sequel gets posted.  
  
And if you haven't already guessed (sorry for not pointing it out earlier) this fic is set AFTER the last movie.  
  
JA NE!! 


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